Tell Them Before It's Too Late

When I sat down to write my mother's obituary, I thought it would be the hardest thing I ever wrote. I knew the rules: keep it short, use simple language, just the facts, ma'am. But how could I sum up the life of the person I've known longer than any other? How can I possibly make a tribute that was worthy? I made a chronological list of her accomplishments, and the obituary just wrote itself. The funeral director warned me that it would cost us to print all that, and I told him it was a pittance compared to the cost of what would be buried and never seen again.

People who knew my mother in only one arena, or in different phases of her life, were astonished at what she had done over her lifetime. She never drew attention to herself, and what she did was in service to others. Many years ago, we talked about her application for the Peace Corps, and one of the questions was why you wanted to join. Mom talked about growing up poor, and how her family got a lot of help from others. She wouldn't have been able to go to college if caring people didn't reach out to her. And now she wanted to pay it back. I said, Mom, you've been doing that all your life.

Later on, I had the privilege of spending two years helping Mom through the end of her earthly life. It was a privilege because the family dedicated that time to making her feel better, and that included looking back at the fun things, the meaningful things, and the lasting things she had done. I got the chance to tell her what she meant to me, and how her example of love and faith helped to shape who I am. We also talked about the many other people she had affected. I like to think that may have helped her in her transition from this life to the next with no regrets.

I didn't have the chance to do that with my father, who also shaped who I am now. He died younger and more suddenly, although I did make sure to let him know I loved him during his final illness. How about you? Is there someone in your life who influenced you and made you a better person? Have you told them how much they mean to you? Think about your mother's life. When she passes, you'll be full of tributes, but isn't it better to let her know now? There are people all around you who may die with doubts because they tried to make a positive impact and never knew if those efforts bore fruit. Before that happens, how about calling your mother and telling her what you admire about her. Or your father. Or another relative, or teacher, or friend.

Everyone has moments where we wonder if anything we've done in our lives has any value, even those who've given their all for other people, as Jesus told us to do. Such reassurance means more than flowers (although flowers are still nice). Hearing some appreciation from you helps to calm the soul. Don't wait until it's too late to let someone know what they mean to you. And if you have something to tell them, why not tell others as well? If you'd like to tell everyone what impact someone has had on your life, we can post it here.